What’s worse than seeing your local pastor at the bar?
Knowing that your local pastor is also divorced.
My whole congregation probably knew about it at this point, which was why I moved forty-five minutes away to this shithole. Those folks loved to gossip almost as much as clutching their pearls at the sight of a gay couple.
At least here, I could be a normal human being and indulge in my vices in peace.
As a man of God, my community held me to a higher standard. That meant no smoking, no drinking, no swearing, and definitely no divorces.
My ex-wife would’ve been content to stay married as well. She could’ve kept up her sweet, wholesome image at church while still fucking her boy toy behind my back.
When I finally put all the pieces together and confronted her with the evidence, she cried and begged me not to leave her, but she never apologized. She never showed an ounce of remorse for lying to me and shitting on our vows. Her main concern was what people would think if they knew.
I still had my testicles so of course I divorced her without a second thought and moved the hell out. But that didn’t make it hurt any less, nor did it preserve my reputation at the church.
I was the bad guy for breaking such a sweet woman’s heart. Nobody but I knew she was a wolf in sheep’s clothing if there ever was one.
And it wasn’t lost on me that I shared a name with Adam’s evil son who murdered his brother and was driven out by God to wander as his punishment. My parishioners loved to remind me of that lately, as if I didn’t study the Bible for twenty years.
I may not be wandering with my feet, I thought as I swirled my whiskey around. But I am one hell of a lost soul.
Per our state laws, Rachel and I had be separated for a minimum of six long months before we could legally divorce. I counted the days like a prisoner waiting to be freed from a cage. The last day of the sixth month was yesterday.
I signed everything I needed to sign then came straight to the bar in my new hometown as of six months ago and had my first drink as a single man.
Sitting there and sipping my drink, I tried to make sense of my thoughts, feelings, and instincts.
God had me on a path but to where? I thought all signs pointed to Rachel being my soulmate, my partner in life, but her infidelity and the resulting consequences shook me to my very foundation. Undoubtedly it was a test of my faith.
Now with a freshly bleeding heart and the freedom to come and go as I please, I was prime choice for temptation from the devil.
The whiskey danced over my tongue, whispering reminders of how good a little sin tasted. It would’ve been downright seductive if that girl at the door hadn’t showed up and taken its place.
If you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.
I shouldn’t have been thinking it but fuck yeah I would’ve liked to master her. Rachel grew so cold to me in the final year of our marriage, that girl’s perky cleavage and her tight little rosebud mouth had me salivating.
Watch it, Kain. She’s not old enough to drink. Who know if she’s old enough for any adult activities. Especially the one you preach to save for after marriage.
I sighed as I drained my glass and patted my shirt pocket for my smokes, realizing it would be a long, lonely life of putting more hours in the gym and whacking myself off if I had any intention of practicing what I preached.
My reputation was already tarnished enough without sticking my dick in barely legal girls. Sure, I could eventually date and remarry but it felt like eons before I would be ready for that. If I could manage to stay celibate for a few months, maybe my congregation would nod in collected approval and move on to gossip about something else.
I stuck a cigarette in my mouth as I slid off the barstool and stalked toward the front door, ready to enjoy some fresh air before crashing at my apartment.
I barely got past Joe, the bouncer, and flicked my lighter before I heard a familiar voice dripping with disdain.
“Well if it isn’t John, who was oh-so-helpful.”
I looked up from my light to see the two women sitting on a bench just outside of the bar with their own cigarettes. They both looked at me like I was their father who just grounded them and took their cell phones away.
But the one with the sexy Medusa glare and the tight cherry mouth was the one who sent my now-unmarried dick twitching.
“You couldn’t have given me a more creative name?” I smirked as I took my first drag. “I might’ve answered to Cornelius or even Jedidiah.”
The one who looked more conventionally hot but interesting as a box of nails rolled her eyes behind heavy, fake lashes.
“What’re you two still doing out here?” I asked. “Don’t you have Disney slumber party plans or something?”
“Oh you’re so funny,” the boring one said brattily. “Look, we’re not even that young. We just wanted to have a couple of drinks! In every other country in the world, we’re perfectly legal.”
“Let it go, Angie,” said the raven-haired beauty as she crusher her cigarette beneath her heel. “Even if Cornelius here played along, they never would have served us.”
“Oh good. So you kids are able to use your brains,” I cracked.
Neither of the girls laughed but the one I couldn’t stop looking at, I think her name was Marcy, turned the corners of her petite mouth up in a tiny smirk. She shared the same amusement as me by the attempted charade. She wasn’t bratty and petulant like her friend.
“Well I’m going to find a bathroom, then we can go home before bedtime like little kids, I guess,” said the bratty girl. She stood from the bench and tried to shoot me an icy glare but it only made her look vapid.
“Don’t mess around with my friend while I’m gone.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I replied.
My heartbeat sped up just slightly at being left alone with this girl who was far too young for me and seemed to pull my crotch toward her like a magnet. Even while I was married, I was rarely alone with other women besides my wife. It was just the respectful thing to do.
Now that I was single, there was nothing technically wrong with this. But this girl put my mind, body and spirit in such an internal struggle, I knew the devil had to be at work somehow. He toyed with my vulnerability and already shaken faith. I could see right through it and I had to stay strong.
“How old are you girls, really?” I asked. Do I even want to know?
“Nineteen,” she replied. “Well, I just turned nineteen. Angie is almost twenty.” Her tiny red smile remained. I wondered if she had any idea how seductive it was. “My real name’s Maggie, by the way. Well, it’s Magdalene but I go by Maggie.”
“Kain,” I replied without thinking, wondering what was the point of making introductions.
“And how old are you really, Kain?”
“Old enough to know better,” I replied dryly. “I’m thirty.”
Her eyebrows lifted slightly, as did my cock, and her lips parted. Knowing her age just amplified my sinful thoughts that much more.
“I wouldn’t have guessed that,” she said with a hint of surprise. “You look younger.”
“I get that a lot.” I started to run my hand through my hair then stopped. Why the fuck are you flirting? “But trust me, the grays and the wrinkles are there.”
“I don’t see any.”
She rested her chin in her hand as she looked at me from a good six feet away. A safe, reasonable distance between strangers that my body itched to close.
“Heh,” I scoffed, dragging on my cigarette and lowering my eyes. “Thanks. It’s probably my Norwegian blood.”
Something women don’t seem to realize is men never get compliments and especially not me, probably as a result of my job. Even if I was unmarried and not exactly a Catholic priest, many people saw a man of God as off limits. A divorced one may as well wore a neon sign that said UNTRUSTWORTHY SINNER.
But the devil knew exactly how to flatter and stroke the human ego. While beautiful, Maggie didn’t exactly seem innocent. Innocent girls didn’t smoke Virginia Slims and try a bag of tricks to get into a bar. There was a sexy wickedness about her, which was exactly why I should’ve finished my smoke and headed home.
But no matter how much I willed my feet to walk away and my mouth to say goodnight, I couldn’t.
My faith was shaken and that made me weak.
When Maggie stood from the bench and began closing the distance between us, her large seductive eyes fixed on me the whole time, I felt myself grow even weaker.
“You could still help us out if you want, Kain,” she said quietly. Up close I could see her eyes nearly matched mine. A mysterious hazel that seemed to shift from brown to green.
“How so?” I asked.
“You can get us a bottle of something from the liquor store. We’ll pay you for it and get smashed in the safety of our own home.”
“That’s a marginally smarter idea than trying to drink out in public,” I said snarkily. “I’m sure there’s plenty of guys close to your own age willing to help you out in that regard.”
“Sure, they’re willing.” Maggie’s gaze lowered shyly. “But I’m not willing to ask. They’re douchebags.”
“Lots of douchebags at my age, too.”
“Not you, though.”
“How do you know?”
“I can just tell.”
“Oh yeah?” I couldn’t help but smirk, enjoying this banter more than I should. “You psychic or something?”
“No.” Her smile grew. “I just get feelings about people. If you wanted the attention of a couple of nineteen-year-old girls, you would have played along and pretended to know us.”
“That might be true,” I said flatly, trying to look bored. But I was honestly impressed with this girl’s self-awareness and perception.
Her smile dropped and her eyes darkened.
“I can also tell you’ve got a lot on your mind. Something big happened to you recently and it’s like a dark cloud surrounding you.”
“Huh,” I remarked, keeping my voice nonchalant but my heart crashed against my ribs. Maybe she was psychic. Great, even more ammunition to question my faith.
Maggie stepped even closer to me with shy, cautious movement until I could almost rest my chin on top of her head.
“I know I’m not the usual company you keep but I could, I dunno, help you feel better, maybe.”
She didn’t even finish her sentence before my dick was fully engorged and pulsating with hot, fiery need.
Who the fuck are you, Maggie? An angel to comfort me and give me peace? Or a Jezebel leading me astray to sin and hedonism?
Lust was overtaking me like a swarm of locusts and each passing second became harder and harder to resist.
“I dunno.” She giggled nervously. “With a kiss, maybe.”
“Gonna have to try harder than that.” I felt like my mouth was possessed. Those words would never be uttered by Pastor Kain Cross.
Maggie’s lip bite and sultry gaze up at me left no ambiguity to her intentions. Her words were the final nail in my coffin of preserving a celibate, wholesome image.
“I’ll sleep with you, Kain.”